Aphaia

From Forum Funnies on ‘This Week on Ravelry’

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Just because it was so funny…

Click here for the original post and the ensuing discussion (although you do need to be a Ravelry member).

I am not a knitter. I joined Ravelry to see where my girlfriend spends her time on the internet lol. In the 10 or so months that she’s been knitting I’ve been secretly/overtly observing and documenting this crazy thing called yarn and what it does to people. These things I know to be true.

  1. Yarn is NOT string and should not be referred to as such.
  2. Knitting needles are not sticks,stix, or styx.
  3. Casting on is NOT a fishing metaphor.
  4. Yarn comes in different weights, colors, styles. Kind of like drugs.
  5. People dye their own yarn with varying degrees of success.
  6. Knitting is taken everywhere. No exceptions are to be made.
  7. Fun fur is frowned on by “real” knitters.
  8. “Lemme just finish this round” is a lot like me saying “Lemme just finish this round of video games” fair enough
  9. A collection of yarn is a “stash” much like drugs.
  10. Yarn barf is actually a thing.
  11. Ravelry has a weird economy of bartering. Yarn can be exchanged for other goods not related to yarn. ????? Weird.
  12. There are knitting groups, where other like minded knitters knit together and (this part is an assumption) talk about how knitters should rule the world.
  13. Do NOT sit on or around yarn left on the sofa. This will cause knitter in the other room to jump up and rescue said ball of yarn from your evil ass.
  14. Thank goodness there are no shows about knitting on Primetime TV.
  15. Stitch markers are NOT earrings.
  16. Lots of knitters have kittehs. You know who also had them? Witches.
  17. If I want something, “Did you want to go to the yarn store?” are the first words out of my mouth.
  18. Yarn stores are populated by alpha knitters. Some stores are better than others. Michaels is not a suitable substitute for a yarn store.
  19. The needles that are attached with wire to each other, do not make good nunchuks.
  20. Kitteh won’t chase a ball of yarn no matter how many balls you throw at his head.

These things I know to be true.

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